01 NewserPosts

Watch This Giant Pumpkin Crush a Car Because Self Care Is Important – VICE

From Vice – 
What would happen if you dropped a 1,300-pound pumpkin onto a car? Like, a for-real car that somebody once drove around and wrote “PLAN // AHEA // D” on before it ended up in the junk yard.
I don’t know why the folks at Ed Dunneback & Girls Fruit Farm in Massachusetts decided to do just that, but I’m glad that they did. Forget face masks and scented candles; sometimes you need self-care that feels as angry as you are, something destructive rather than constructive, something big but abstract, visceral but consequence-less. | go to source

02 FP Top Headlines

Obama Judges Kill Americans’ Privacy to Help Democratic House Harass Trump – Human Events

From Human Event – 
Two Obama appointees just greenlit two of the most invasive Congressional subpoenas for private financial information in American history.
The two subpoenas from the House often came without House approval, but instead with written memorandums by self-serving chairmen. They compelled invasive disclosure of intimate information from accountants and banks concerning the private records of private people from a time period Trump was neither a candidate nor the President. Their orders eviscerate and endanger privacy for all Americans……
The judges’ mutual refusal to stay their judgment pending appeal further reflects the partisan motivation behind their conduct. Anyone think they would have approved Congressional subpoenas into Obama’s still-sealed educational records? Anyone think they would have approved Senatorial subpoenas into Biden’s family finances that concern the large sums of money foreign countries and their agents paid his family during his Vice Presidency under Obama? Anyone think they would have approved wide-scale subpoenas into the activities of the Clinton Foundation during Hillary Clinton’s tenure as Secretary of State? | go to source

01 LZL Top Headlines

Leftzilla – Trump’s Plan to Pardon Several War Criminals Hurts the Military—and Threatens Its Moral Authority – Mother Jones

From Mother Jones – 
Two years ago in Mosul, Iraq, a group of Navy SEALs were administering medical aid to a young injured ISIS fighter. He was so young, they later said he was likely a teenager. Then Edward Gallagher, the senior member of SEAL Team 7 and a distinguished veteran of several combat deployments, approached them without warning and stabbed the injured fighter repeatedly in the neck and side. Gallagher’s crimes reportedly did not stop there. According to a confidential Navy report obtained by the New York Times, in the weeks before and after this incident, he also indiscriminately killed civilians, including an adolescent girl “in a flower-print hijab,” and pressured members of his unit to not rat him out. Gallagher was finally taken into custody last year in advance of his court martial—scheduled to begin on May 28—where he stands accused of a laundry list of war crimes. 
Now, thanks to President Donald Trump, he may emerge from the process with a presidential pardon, exonerated of his misdeeds and free of any consequences.  | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Now You Have It, Now You Don’t Anus Could Reveal Evolutionary History

New Scientist – A jellyfish-like creature has a neat trick that makes it unique among animals: its anus forms only when it needs to defecate, then disappears without a trace.

“That is the really spectacular finding here,” says Sidney Tamm of the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, who made the discovery. “There is no documentation of a transient anus in any other animals that I know of.”

Tamm thinks the discovery might represent an intermediate stage in evolution. | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Pornhub Wants to Protect Tumblr From Itself

Ars Technica -“Verizon Communications Inc. is seeking a buyer for blogging website Tumblr, according to people familiar with the matter, as it tries to steady a media business that has struggled to meet revenue targets,” The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday.

Pornhub quickly announced its interest after the news broke, although it isn’t clear whether the two companies have talked. Verizon banned all adult content from Tumblr in December 2018, and Pornhub wants to restore the site to its former porn-filled glory.

| go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Pooping Out an AirPod Does Not Destroy it

Tech Spot – What’s worse than losing your AirPods? Finding one inside your belly. A man named Hsu went through this unusual experience when he went to sleep and somehow his right AirPod slipped its way into his mouth and down his stomach.

He was able to locate the missing AirPod using the ‘Find My AirPods’ feature. “I could hear the ‘beep, beep’ sound, which seemed to follow me around the room”, says Hsu. After searching his room thoroughly he realized that the sound was coming from within his stomach and it suddenly dawned on him, “I swallowed my Airpod.” | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

CATastrophy Turns Into 50K Powerball Win for Baltimore Woman

Mix 105.1 – A 67-year-old Baltimore, Maryland woman recently claimed a $50,000 Powerball jackpot two months after her cat hid her winning ticket. ….“When I buy Lottery tickets, I never watch the drawings or even check to see if I won until a few days later.  What I didn’t know is that after my cat knocked some papers off my nightstand, a few of my tickets ended up falling behind my bed. I didn’t see the additional papers behind my bed until I did some spring cleaning. To my surprise, one of them was a winner!” | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Vampire Facials Spa Clients Contract Aids

Boston 25 News – According to the New Mexico Department of Health, both clients “received injection-related procedures” at the now-shuttered VIP Spa in Albuquerque between May and September of last year. 

Tests found that the clients recently were infected with the same strain of the virus, “increasing the likelihood that the two HIV infections may have resulted from a procedure at the VIP Spa,” the news release said. | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Turns Out, Black Death Should Have Been Called Blue Death

Anomalian – The color of death turned out to be blue. It is in this shade that dead cells are stained with a destroyed calcium compound.  Necrosis led to the blue glow of worms. So, the researchers managed to observe how death was spreading.  This phenomenon is typical not only for worms, but also for many other living organisms.  According to experts, the blue color serves as a kind of conditional signal that is transmitted from cell to cell, reporting on the beginning of the process of death of the whole organism. | go to source

01 Features

Wasp Masters Herd Zombie Spiders

So one day I was minding my own business and it felt a little…strange….a little strange in my web maker, so to speak, my big protruding, you know, abdomen, because I’m a spider and I spin webs and holy hell I feel odd.  I feel like wasps are really the superior insect.  I feel as if I should probably totally slave for them.

If this happened to a spider you know, maybe even love, then your spider is the victim of zombie hacking, and the culprit, if you can’t tell from the setup, is a zombie-making wasp.  

Take it away, Science Daily –  Setting off a startling chain of events, a parasitoid wasp can force a spider to weave a special web to suspend the wasp pupa just before it finishes killing its spider host. William Eberhard, staff scientist emeritus at the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute and Marcelo Gonzaga at the Universidade Federal de Uberlândia in Brazil have assembled wide-ranging evidence that ‘zombification’ involves hacking existing web-spinning mechanisms by hijacking the spider’s own molting hormone, ecdysone. | go to source

01 Features

Rightzilla – Ocasio-Cortez cuts mic on constituent challenging her ‘totally absurd, fascist’ take on free speech – Infowars

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demonstrated the old adage “actions speak louder than words” at a recent town hall when a constituent questioned the socialist’s “fascist” perspective on free speech.  Video of the sparsely attended event in Queens featured a small crowd and a line of speakers waiting to address Ocasio-Cortez, who stood on an elevated stage behind a fancy podium. One of the speakers introduced himself as James Scott Berry and described himself as a registered Republican with the life mantra “always be willing to be wrong.”  Berry posed two different questions: Whether AOC would be willing to investigation the “over 3 million incidents of violent acts and threats of violence allowed in our schools against teachers and against fellow students ever year,” and whether she’s agreed that the greatest freedom in the world is the “freedom to hate, because in many countries you cannot.”
When I highlight stories, I try to find the most salient point. I had a really hard time finding that point because, much like the leftzilla winner from yesterday, the headline did not get fulfilled by the story.  While it is true that at one point this dude’s mic was cut off, it was quickly restored and a rather lengthy discourse ensued.  The crux seems to be AOC might possibly define incitement to violence more broadly than our hero does.  I’ll leave you zillas to fight over those table scraps.

They get the win anyway, Infowars, that is, because the video hits the leftzillas with their own favorite bludgeoning tool, ‘fascist.’  But it still failed to deliver on the zilla promised. | go to source

01 Features

Leftzilla – Trump admin was surveilling last year’s family separation protests, internal documents reveal – Daily Kos

Once again we have a zilla that fails to fully deliver.  The headline sounds scandalous enough, so much so that Daily Kos gets the Oppo of the day.  But, outside of the choir room, this song will sing flatter than pancakes being sucked into a black hole.  Well, I guess anything stuffed into a black hole will tend to be ultimate flatted, so to speak.

Do let me get back on point, because that’s what you pay for.  This little ditty reveals that, shock, government spies on protests, and they hire ‘private’ companies to do this work sometimes.  Still, if you’re a leftzilla, I understand why this would be like someone metaphorically spilled vegetables in your ice cream (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  Let’s let the winner, Daily Kos, shock us with their zilla.

Daily Kos – Government documents obtained by a coalition of immigrant rights group under the Freedom of Information Act show that the Trump administration was using a private cybersecurity company to monitor the hundreds of nationwide protests last year organized by Americans outraged over its family separation policy, adding to the disturbing pattern of surveillance and targeting of critics under the Trump administration.

“The documents include a list disseminated by [Homeland Security’s] Office on Intelligence and Analysis of more than 600 protests that took place in June 2018, when public horror at children being systematically ripped from their parents became widespread,” the American Immigration Council said. A firm called LookingGlass shared the information, including Facebook Event IDs and logistics such as time and location, with Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s investigative arm. | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Moose Poop Packing Main Tells Alaska TSA His Package is for Politicians

Miami Herald – According to the TSA, the man’s carry-on was flagged at Juneau International Airport on April 15 because equipment caught “a large organic mass” in the luggage, which could have been a sign of explosive material, the KTOO reports.

That’s when officers looked inside and discovered the bag of feces — and when the man told them “that he collects this and likes to present it, ‘For politicians and their bleep policies,’” Farbstein said, according to KTOO. | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Beer Was the Stuff of Life, Literally, for this Ancient Peruvian Civilization

Discover Magazine – Five hundred years before the Incan empire reached its height in South America, a different civilization reigned: the Wari.  One of the Wari’s claims to fame is that they were early brewers of a drink called chicha….

New evidence, recently published in the journal Sustainability, suggests  this beer relative may have played a role in keeping Wari civilization together. Not only that, but researchers started to figure out their ancient beer recipe — and they’ve re-created it for us to taste. | go to source

01 Features

US v China Arms Race Driving Military Spending to Record Levels

In 1984, Sting asked the question, do the Russians love their children too?  That question was asked because of the insane hype around the greatest arms race of ever, between America and the Soviet Union.
Why, oh why do I need to explain this to you given the headline you’ve already seen?  Well, it seems that arms race of all time is gonna have to take a step back to a new show, a new game, with America once again representing one side but CHINA stepping in to replace the Soviet Union.  

From Business Standard – Global military expenditure reached its highest level last year since the end of the Cold War, fueled by increased spending in the United States and China, the world’s two biggest economies, a leading defence think-tank said on Monday.  In its annual report, the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI) said overall global military spending in 2018 hit $1.82 trillion, up 2.6 percent on the previous year.  That is the highest figure since 1988, when such data first became available as the Cold War began winding down. | go to source

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If It Doesn’t Stink, You Might Be Dying

Mirror UK – Older people with a poor sense of smell are up to 50 per cent more likely to die in the next 10 years, warns a new study….Their findings, published in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine, show that, compared with older adults with a good sense of smell, those with poor smell were at a 46 per cent higher risk for death at 10 years and 30 per cent at 13 years. | go to source

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Rescuing Eggs from Dead Sharks Yields Live Sharks, Hope for Endangered Species

The Guardian – All of this work has culminated in our recent publication of a paper in the journal of Ocean and Coastal Management, detailing the project. To date, a total of 689 eggcases have been recovered from dead sharks at the market; of these, 278 have developed and hatched out successfully with 237 S. canicula and 41 S. stellarisreleased back into the wild. A further four S. stellariswere retained by the aquarium for educational display purposes. | go to source

01 Features

The World’s Largest Graveyard Might Be Facebook, and Soon, the Dead Will Outnumber the Living

Without appearing to assume what any rational person would presume should assume I could potentially presume I could resume regarding the potential continuation of Facebook, let’s go along with the scenario in the story I found from The Mirror UK.  In that scenario, we have to assume we have some presumption to assume that Facebook will be around until 2070.  The story is so lulzy that I am going to NEED YOU to go along with me on this one and run with this scenario.  Presumptions notwithstanding, we need to assume Facebook will certainly be here in 2070 for this lulz to even work.

You see, folks, in this scenario, a little thing is happening on Facebook that many of us know about, that many of us have sometimes wondered if it would one day be our fate as well, to become, a dead profile, not like a figurative dead profile, a profile of a dead person.  Here’s the Mirror UK’s deets on this thing:
“A new report by academics from the Oxford Internet Institute (OII) – part of the University of Oxford – sets up two potential extreme scenarios.  The first assumes that no new users join as of 2018; the second assumes that Facebook continues to grow by its current rate of 13% globally, every year, until each market reaches saturation.”

Now I grant you that the ‘study’ (Is that what the kids call it these days) really has to make a LOT of far fetched assumptions, I mean, it presumes a lot, dontcha think?  BUT…..even if the story itself is a bit overly cooked, so to speak, it does lead us, or, rather, me, to this opportunity to highlight the increasing fact that a SIGNIFICANT portion of Facebook is, in fact, a digital graveyard, and parts of me love this, and parts of me don’t know if I should delete my Facebook account. | go to source

01 Features

Leftzilla – Trump Claims Obama Was Disloyal To America As Investigators Close In – Politics USA

Our Polzilla of the day comes to us from Politics USA.  And if you know your poly blogs, that means the Leftzillas win again!  Congrats, leftzillas.  Politic USA captures a rather ‘interesting’ exchange Donald Trump had recently.  I’ll let the leftzillas tell the tale-
Politics USA – Trump claimed in Green Bay that former President Obama had been disloyal to America, as congressional investigators are digging into his relationship with Russia.  Trump said, “Now, you finally have a president who is loyal to you. Every day between now and November 2020, we are going to keep on working. We are going to keep on fighting, and we are going to keep on winning, winning, winning. Remember I used to tell you about winning. We’re winning. We are respected again, and I have to say every leader without fail that comes to see me in the Oval Office, they all say without fail. Congratulations, it’s incredible what’s happened to the United States.”
Them providing the quote was good and sporting of them considering the quote doesn’t, sadly, fully deliver on the zilla promise of the headline.  For the zilla fans, this is a bit of a letdown, but the exploitation of the potential for the title to be fully correct leads me to give them the win today nonetheless. | go to source

01 Features

Rightzilla – Joe Biden Exploited Charlottesville Murder In His Announcement Video, Didn’t Tell The Family First – True Pundit

My Oppo of the day addresses a recent video Joe Biden did commemorating the events in Charlottesville.  Apparently, Joe done flerbed the fleek.  Or something.  He did NOT get permission to use video of Heather Heyer from her parents.

Here’s how True Pundit addressed the Biden Boner.

True Pundit – Joe Biden announced his entry into the 2020 Democratic primary early yesterday morning with a video heavily referencing the events in Charlottesville that happened in 2017. Specifically, the death of a young women named Heather Heyer, who was killed by a white supremacist coward attending the “United the Right” rally put on by Richard Spencer. He then sought to use those events as a cudgel against Donald Trump as part of the roll out of his candidacy.  It’s about to get rockier as The Daily Beast is reporting that Biden made that video without the consent of the deceased family.  Joe Biden did not tell Susan Bro, Heather Heyer’s mother, that he would be invoking her daughter’s murder in Charlottesville in August 2017 in his presidential campaign launch video focusing on “the battle for the soul” of America | go to source

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01 PGN Posts

Kid’s Age is Part of Lottery Numbesr, But Mom Got it Wrong…and She Still Wins 78K Smackers

UPI – A Michigan woman said she owes her $78,000 lottery jackpot to a mistake she made about her own child’s age.  Antoinette Ousley of Inkster was one of two people to match all numbers in the Fantasy Five drawing April 15, earning her half of the $156,090 jackpot, $78,045.  Ousley told Michigan Lottery officials she recognized her numbers right away when she checked the Michigan Lottery app. | go to source

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Pot Houses Don’t Open on Time, Get Fined By Ontario Pot Police

CBC – Cannabis retailers in Ontario who have failed to open their stores by a government-set deadline are facing a new round of financial penalties.In all, eleven pot retailers have been fined $12,500 each for not opening their stores by April 15.  Twenty-five retailers were selected through a government lottery to open the first brick-and-mortar cannabis stores on April 1, but less than half met the deadline. | go to source

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Wyoming Man Robs Store, Applies for Job on Same Day

Associated Press – Police in northern Wyoming say a man who allegedly shoplifted at the same store twice in one day also asked to fill out a job application during one of his visits…the 36-year-old man went to the Sportsman’s Warehouse in Gillette and bought some items with a rewards card but allegedly took sunglasses and ammunition without paying for them.  Police say he returned to the store a few hours later, asked to fill out the job application and left with two more pairs of sunglasses, allegedly without paying for them. | go to source

01 Features

Oxford Man With PHD Says Aliens Messing With Climate Can Only Be Defeated with Alien-Human Hybrids

I kid you not, even legit geniuses, even legit phd big brained power houses sometimes stumble upon an extra level of self-inflicted derpage that causes you to question the very existence of humanity.
In this case, that feeling might be particularly apropos if we are talking about Oxford Professor and big brained awesome guy Dr Young-hae-Chi who has decided that he has figured out the mystery of the universe, aliens, aliens merging with humans to take over the universe and take over humans from within.
Ma’am, we traced the source of the call, and it’s in your womb. Holy next level scary if this guy is even REMOTELY right, but if he is, there’s then no reason not to believe that the LITERAL Dr. Who will show up and save us, in whatever form the doctor has taken up (unless it’s a Dallas Cowboys fan, go Eagles, Dallas Sucks, I apologize in advance for violating my pledge for non-partisanship but Dallas does suck, objectively).
This doctor, Dr. Chi, not Who, believes aliens are LITERALLY messing with us to mess with climate change because jerks and stuff, BUT we can combat it by creating a new alien-human species that will literally save the world from climate change, but I know that’s code for destroy all humans and create a super alien race of Dallas Cowboys fans to take over the universe.  Not even the Daleks, the nemesis (what’s plural for nemesis?) of the previously mentioned Dr. Who, are quite as scary as that proposition. 
Here’s a snippet of the version the normies over at the Sun UK gave you- Oxford University professor claims aliens are already breeding with humans on earth  –  Dr Young-hae Chi, an instructor in Korean at Oxford’s Oriental Institute, part of the prestigious university, thinks this new species will save Earth from annihilation from climate change.  Dr Chi first said the hybrids may already exist in a lecture in 2012 but has now written a book on the subject.  He believes there is a strong correlation between climate change and alien abductions, the Oxford Student newspaper has reported.   His book, written in Korean, is called Alien Visitations and the End of Humanity. | go to source